At the Movies

So Wheezley and I went to see The Expendables this weekend. This action movie has tons of stars in it — Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Stone Cold Steve Auston, Terry Crews, Randy Couture, Eric Roberts, Mickey Rourke. If you like action movies, this is pretty much your dream cast. There are even cameos by Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis.

Basically, the story is this: Sly is the head of a mercenary crew that goes around the world and does things like rescue hostages. Sly and his crew are approached by Bruce Willis to go down to the island of Vilena and take out a general who has seized power. Sly and Jason Statham go down to recon the island, and they meet Sandra, the general’s daughter who is working against her father. Before you can say action movie, Sly and Jason run afoul of the general’s troops and have to escape. But Sandra stays behind, and Sly can’t stop thinking that he should go back and try to help her. So he and the boys saddle up and head back down to Vilena to take on Eric Roberts, who’s made the general his little puppet.

What happens from there? Stuff blows up. Seriously. I don’t know how big the sets were for this movie, but if there’s anything left of them besides charred, matchstick-size pieces, then I’d be shocked.

This movie was a lot of fun. I think it’s really, really cool that Sly got so many action stars together in one movie. I wish they made more movies like this where it’s all a big collaboration, and everyone gets a moment or two to shine.

Let me just say, though, that the years have not been kind to some of these guys. Willis still looks good, but Sly, Arnold, and Mickey aren’t looking so hot. But you know what? The lines on their faces and their world-weary attitudes worked well for this movie.

This movie is all about the action. Sly has his guns, Jason and Mickey have their knives, Jet has his quick fists, and Terry Crews has a very loud automatic shotgun, among other things. There are several cool action sequences in this one, leading up to an explosive finale — literally. I cannot stress enough how much stuff blows up at the end of this movie. The good guys are quirky and heroic, and the bad guys are totally eeevil.

My only little quibble is that I would have liked the action scenes to be shot a little wider so I could actually see the guys fight, instead of just their fists slamming into each others’ faces.

Overall, this one was just bloody, violent, action-packed fun. I hope they make a sequel because I’d love to see all these guys together again.

My grade: B.

Quotable lines: There are several. I especially liked Jet Li’s riff on how he needed more money because he was smaller than the other guys.

Would I watch this movie again: Sure. I’d catch it again on cable, and I’d go to the theater to watch a sequel.

So I dragged Wheezley off to see The A-Team movie this weekend. I’m a huge fan of the old TV show, so I’ve been looking forward to the movie for a while now.

It didn’t disappoint.

For those of you who remember it, the TV show was about four Vietnam vets who were accused of a crime that they didn’t commit — Hannibal Smith, Templeton “Faceman” Peck, B.A. Baracus, and H.M. “Howling Mad” Murdock. The movie updates the premise to make them Gulf War vets.

The movie is really an origin story of how the A-Team came together and starts out in Mexico with Hannibal and Face on a mission. Along the way, they meet B.A. and Murdock, and the team is born. Flash forward several years, and the boys are tasked to retrieve some treasury plates that have fallen into the wrong hands. The mission is a success — until the general who gave them the assignment gets murdered and the plates vanish. Before you know it, the team is in prison, but that’s not going to stop them from clearing their names …

One of the things that I loved about the TV show was that it was just fun. Lots of action, lots of daring escapes, lots of stuff blowing up. The movie really nails that same fun vibe. It’s definitely a summer popcorn movie, and it doesn’t take itself too seriously, something that I always appreciate. The actors all look like they’re having fun (especially Sharlto Copley as Murdock), and there’s a nice little twist near the end that I didn’t see coming. There are also several little nods to the show that I appreciated, like some of the names that were used (Lynch, especially) and the fact that the team has to knock out B.A. to get him on a plane.

Overall, if you’re looking for a fun way to spend the afternoon, check out this movie. It’s much better than Prince of Persia and a lot more fun than Robin Hood. I hope there’s a sequel.

My grade: B+.

What about you guys? Anyone seen anything good this summer? Share in the comments.

Besides Robin Hood, the other movie that I’ve seen so far this summer is Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time, which of course is based on the popular video game.

In this movie, the orphan boy Dastan is rescued from the streets by the king and raised as one of his sons. Flash forward several years, and Dastan has morphed into Jake Gyllenhaal (love the abs, hate the hair). Dastan and his brothers decide to go against the king’s wishes and sack a holy city. Eventually, Dastan comes into the possession of a mystical dagger that lets its owner turn back time. The dagger is guarded by a beautiful princess, and she and Dastan spar back and forth as they try to unravel a conspiracy about the dagger and who wants them both dead.

This isn’t a terrible movie, but it’s not a great one either. Some of the fight scenes are cool, and Dastan and the princess have a good rapport. Other than that, it’s a lot of Ben Kingsley chewing the scenery as Dastan’s treacherous uncle and Alfred Molina being annoying as a guy who loves ostrich racing (seriously).

Wait for this one on cable. 

My grade: C-.