So I’m back after the long holiday weekend. Hope everyone had a good turkey day. I know that I still feel stuffed from all the food! 😉

Someone asked me the other day if I was going to be doing any book signings for Spider’s Bite when it comes out in late January. The answer? Yes and no.

I plan on doing one signing at my local comic book store. Yep, that’s right. Just the one signing. Well, maybe one more at my local library, if they’re up for it. So two signings, total.

Why so few? Because the truth is that book signings kind of suck.

Don’t get me wrong. I absolutely love meeting readers, and I am more than happy to sign books until my fingers bleed (not that my books are popular enough for that to happen, but hey, it’s something to strive for).

But my previous signings at my local chain stores have not gone all that well — I’ve never sold more than a handful of books at them. At the worst signing, I only sold one book — and that’s only because my high school Spanish teacher came into the store completely by chance and took pity on me. How sad is that?

Mostly, during a signing at a chain bookstore, it’s me sitting at a table for two hours as people walk on by, desperately avoiding making eye contact with me. And the people who do approach me? They mostly want to know where the bathroom is. (Seriously, people will ask you that all the time).

Of course, it might help if I were a great salesman, but the truth is that I’m not. I’m good at talking to folks one on one, but not necessarily at attracting their attention in the first place. And honestly, all of this kind of ties into one of my pet peeves. Because I don’t like the folks who sit outside of the grocery store selling doughnuts, Girl Scout cookies, or whatever to raise funds for their cause. You know the ones I’m talking about, where as soon as you approach the door, the folks run over to you, get in your way, and shove their product into your face. If I wanted to buy your doughnuts, I would come over and ask you about them. Otherwise, leave me alone. I’m only here to get groceries, nothing else. Okay, mini rant over. 😉

The bottom line is that I don’t want to be that kind of person. I don’t want to hassle people. I figure folks can read the sign, see the books, and figure out why I’m there. So I sit at my little table and leave it up to them to walk over to me (which is probably the wrong approach, but it’s the one I’m comfortable with).

And then, there’s the manager at one of my local chain stores. A while back, I tried to set up a signing for Hot Mama, and I called her four times — even speaking to her once or twice on the phone. She promised that she’d call me back and that we’d set something up, but she never did. It was such a hassle trying to pin her down that I didn’t even bother trying to set up a signing for Jinx. I went by the store the other day and dropped off a cover flat for Spider’s Bite, along with my contact information. And, of course, she hasn’t called me. And I know that she won’t. Sigh …

And really, it’s kind of a pain to even set up a signing at a chain store in the first place. Because to sign at a Barnes & Noble, Borders, or wherever, you’re supposed to have your publicist set it up. (And having a publicist is not as glamorous as it sounds because she’s also the publicist for tons of other books that are also coming out that month from the publisher. You are one author/book among dozens).

Last year, when I was considering doing a signing for Jinx, I was told by my publicist that one of the local chains wanted me to guarantee that at least 40 people would show up at the signing. Seriously — 40 people. Can you believe that? I don’t even think I know 40 people, much less have the gumption to ask them to interrupt their Saturday to come to my signing and buy a book. That’s just rude.

All of this is why I really love the signings at conferences like RWA and RT. Sure, they are big, massive, noisy, and exhausting, but people are there to meet authors and buy books. Even if I only sell a few books, I still have a good time, because there are tons of other authors and readers to talk to. And, you know, authors that I want to meet myself. 😉

I also like signing at my local comic book store. The owner there has been great to work with, and his customers love all kinds of fantasy books. I think it’s a win-win for all of us. Because even if no one buys any of my books, I still get to talk about Buffy, Chuck, and all the other latest, greatest fantasy TV shows, books, and movies.

So yeah, I’ve basically decided that me signing all by my little lonesome at a chain store isn’t really a good use of my time. I might sell a few books, but that’s also two hours that I could be writing, reading, or blogging. But you know what? The next time I see an author at a bookstore, I’m going to go over and at least say hi to them — because I know exactly how lonely those two hours can be.