Spartans and blood and death, oh my!

Saw 300 this weekend, the new movie based on the graphic novel by Frank Miller. It’s about a group of 300 Spartans who stood against a massive army at the ancient Battle of Thermopylae.

It was your usual swords-and-sandal movie. A noble, but brash king, Leonidas, leads his men into battle with everyone knowing that they’re going to die. Yet, somehow, they take lots of folks with them before they go. And everybody’s happy to be slaughtered in such a honorable, glorious way.

My significant other loves ancient history, so he thought 300 totally rocked. It was actually a lot better than I thought it would be. Cool affects, a good lead actor in Gerard Butler, interesting battle scenes. A little gory, and a little slow in places, but overall, thumbs up.

But I did have a couple quibbles. First of all — the boob shots. There were lots of bare breasts in this movie for really no reason. But then again, there are lots of boobs in comics and graphic novels (like Miller’s Sin City series). Very big, very unrealistic boobs that would tip a normal woman over anytime she tried to walk. They’re just boobs, guys. Every other person has a pair of them. Get over it.

I also had a problem with Leonidas’ wife, who basically lets a corrupt councilman have his way with her in order to convince him to help her convince the Spartan government to send troops to back up her husband. Honey, don’t you know he’s going to double-cross you? He’s corrupt.

Some of the folks/monsters the Spartans fight were also a little over the top, like the 10-foot-tall guy who tries to separate Leonidas’ head from his body. But Miller seems to have a fascination with grotesque creatures (like Yellow Bastard in Sin City). And, of course, the monsters all had really bad teeth. You’d think they’d have good teeth, as much as they used them to eat people.

What about you? Have you seen 300? Plan to run screaming the other way? Inquiring minds want to know …

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